To-Do List for When I'm Immortal
Longevity experts say death will eventually be a thing of the past. Once we're able to manipulate our bodies with cellular precision or digitize our brain patterns so they can be backed-up and transferred to a fresh new body, we'll be able to live on and on forever and ever. That'll be great for me, since I've got a ton of projects that I just don't have time for right now. I've started a to-do list so I don't forget.
1
Stop and smell the roses.All of them.
Rate their scents on a scale of 1-1000.
2
Catch up on all those past issues of National Geographic.3
Proofread the internet.4
Binge watch Days of our Lives5
Get a new cat.Film every moment of its life. When the cat dies, edit down the footage to one year's-worth of highlights to create the greatest cat video ever.
Do a year-long screening of the film whenever I miss the cat.
6
Eat at every McDonalds.7
Mess around with evolution.Do some selective breeding to create:
- Domesticated squirrels.
- Bi-pedal wiener dogs.
- Praying mantises to match my wallpaper.
- A species of bird with a call that sounds like I'm Like a Bird by Nelly Furtado
8
Figure out once and for all how many blades of grass are on the front lawn by counting them individually.9
Finally finish that Ken Burns Baseball documentary. Really take the time to study it. When it mentions a particular game, pause the documentary, track down a recording of that game and watch the whole thing.When it mentions a particular player, do the same thing, but with every game in which that player appeared.
10
Open a museum for my socks.11
Stage that one-man show I've always wanted to do: The Life and Times of Herbert Hoover. Reenact his whole life from birth to death. In real-time.If it's a hit, do all the other presidents.
12
Adopt a pet rock. Name it Roxy.Leave it outside.
When it erodes down to almost nothing, change it’s name to Dusty.
13
Get into competitive tree racing.14
Do one sit-up a year for 100 millennia. That's 100,000 reps. I'll have abs of steel!15
Open a beach resort in Pittsburgh.16
Start stockpiling sunscreen for when the Earth gets closer to the sun.17
Write a series of books about a family. It will be a generation-spanning family saga. In each book, a different family member is the main character and you see the whole story from their perspective. Oh - and also the family is a family of bees.18
Start planning my "End of the Holocene" party.It's going to be epoch.
This is hilarious and well thought out. :)
It's already the end of the Holocene. Scientists are proposing Athropocene for our new epoch. So plan that party.
Hm. Maybe an End of Anthropocene party then. Just gotta decide whether to invite everyone who's still alive or just close friends.
If i make an exact copy of my brain, is that still me or another person acting and thinking like me?
You'll never know til you try it! Pretty sure there can only be one you at any given time though.
Actually when you try you won't know 'cause you'll be f*****g dead.
The "minduploading" that the lunatic Kurzweil and others suggest will most likely involve destruction of the original brain (=original person). This whole cult might get pretty dangerous for those who wanna be ACTUALLY immortal, you know, as people/brains, instead of 1's and 0's.
Earth don't gets closer to the sun, the sun will get bigger.
Beside that: Great and funny list
Actually as the sun gets bigger, the Earth will get closer to the sun, or at least to the surface of it - everything a matter of perspective.
#3 is my actual life goal.
It's very inspiring! I'd like to think that way:)
..and "counting stars with 100 time repetition of each star" Simply!!
I think that eating at every McDonalds annihilates your immortality.
...Or is its ultimate proof.
On contemplating total emptiness my thoughts keep encroaching and filling space. The space between my ears is too crowded for for any decent comprehension. With all the space and time available one should be able to overcome such hurdles. Perhaps I will make the problem my new go to sleep thought.to replace my present practice of planning how to deal with aliens.Nothing is impossible when you have all the time and space in the universe at your disposal.
Without bringing nutjob religion into it I have news for the author : WE ARE ALREADY IMMORTAL ! This crap is merely a means by which we are distracted from this truth.
Ok. I'll bite the crazy-bait. What's your definition of immortal?
:P touch your right palm to your right shoulder. do it. do it now.