New Scams to Watch Out for
These days, seems like you can’t go anywhere without someone trying to scam you out of your money. Here are some of the latest tricks and cons to watch out for.
The Phony Teller
You pull up to the drive-through ATM at the bank, but your debit card gets stuck in the machine. When you press the button for help, a recorded voice informs you that this is no longer the bank and asks whether you’d like to try the spicy six piece combo meal.
The Grandchild in Trouble
Your phone rings and there’s a voice on the line claiming to be your grandson Rodney. He’s asking for money because he’s stuck in Cabo San Lucas. Bandits stole his wallet and he needs you to wire him cash for a ticket home. Except, of course, it’s not Rodney. It’s his brother Robert, and he’s sick of the way you’re always sending money to Rodney when he’s the one who visits you on Sundays, not like Rodney who's always off partying with bandits in Cabo.
Romantic Advance
A man you meet on vacation sweeps you off your feet and gives you a diamond necklace. When you return home and take the necklace to the pawn shop, the guy tells you it’s fake. But actually it’s real, and the pawn shop owner sells it for a pretty penny to a guy named Eddie the Fence.
Mystery Text Message
You get a text from an unknown number that reads, “Have you any porridge?” You go check your cupboard, but the cupboard is bare. So you text back, “Sorry, I haven’t any porridge.” Then when you go back to your chair, there’s a fuckin’ bear sitting in it.
The “Handwritten” Note
The mail carrier delivers an envelope that appears to have been addressed by hand, as if it’s a personal letter from a friend. Upon closer inspection it becomes clear that it’s a promotional mailer from the veterinarian’s office, probably reminding you that it’s time for a check up. So you shred the letter to tiny bits with your teeth and when Mister Dougie gets home he’s very very mad and worries that the paper damaged your digestive tract. The scam is that you wind up at the vet’s anyways.
Offer That's Too Good to be True
A genie appears out of a bottle and grants you one wish. You think you can outsmart the genie by wishing for 100 wishes. But the genie says, “Sorry dumbass - doesn’t work that way. You just wasted your wish.” So you go home and cry. But really, it does work that way, and the genie kept your wish for himself and used it on some body oil and a new fez.
Gift Card Exchange
You get a text from a co-worker at Target asking you to pick up a gift card that they left at customer service. When you get it, the co-worker asks you to text them the code on the back. When you ask why, they explain that they don’t want the gift card anymore, and they want to use the money to buy a better present for someone. The part they’re not telling you? That someone is YOU! Happy Birthday!